so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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