Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
