Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
