why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
