I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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