Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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