last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
