Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
