Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
