Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
