If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
