all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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