Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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