Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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