I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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