Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
