All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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