Me. At least after what I've been through.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
