Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
