Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
