We won't sleep together?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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