You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
