I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
