I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
