Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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