Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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