I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize