surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
