Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
