VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
