I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
