somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
