epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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