This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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