What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
