you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
