u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
