I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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