normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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