There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
