Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Alive.
So much puke
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
