her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize