just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
