i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize