a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
