You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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