Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
