what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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