You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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