at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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