The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
