And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
