I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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